Emily's Broken Promise
by MissKitty4Adam
Summary: This story, written for "Love Changes Everything Challenge" on BonanzaTrailRiders com, is based on the Season 1 episode, "Newcomers" and Emily Pennington, Hoss' first love on the Show. This tale is an attempt to wrap up the story better and provide more of Hoss' process through his grief. An interesting fact is that Hoss referenced Emily's death in "The Philip Deideshiemer Story".


_"Hoss, tell me about the canyon...and the dogwood in bloom."_

 _"Ahh, I ain't so good at talkin' about it," he said bashfully._

 _She smiled sadly. "The goldback ferns that you press against your hand? And the gold dust comes off, like it was stardust right out of the sky."_

 _Hoss smiled at his love's fond recollection. "Come back this spring and I'll take ya there."_

 _"You go there, Hoss," Emily says pensively with tears in her eyes, "And when the spring comes and the dogwood is in bloom, you go to the canyon and...I...I promise you I'll be there. I love you, Hoss."_

Excerpt from "The Newcomers"

I* * * * *I

In the early hours of a new day, the Ponderosa lay quiet, wrapped in the comfort of a crisp morning. The fading moon shone its blue beams down from a clear sky, casting faint light through the windows. In a small room off of the kitchen, a little man turned over in bed, muttering in a foreign tongue. Upstairs in three individual bedrooms, a grey-haired man snored quietly, a young man threw an arm over his closed eyes and a dark man lay uncovered, revealing a hirsute chest and soft, white drawers.

While his family slept soundly around him, Hoss descended the stairs. He had never undressed from the day before and didn't care. His work clothes rumpled and hair askew, he stepped heavily down the steps. Grief cascaded through his mind and a numbness gripped his limbs, making it difficult to even breathe. Tears blurring his vision, he strode to the door and stepped outside. With hands stuffed into his pants pockets, he walked to the barn, eyes glued to the ground.

After saddling Chubb, he mounted up and rode out of the silent yard. The sky had begun to turn pink along the horizon and he knew dawn was approaching quickly. With a sigh, he urged his horse on and the twosome cantered forward, making haste. Reaching higher country, he urged Chubb faster. The gelding, descended from hardy, mountain stock, had no trouble picking its way along rocky trails and down a steep slope. Dread filled Hoss' heart as he rode between two towering crags, entering a narrow space hollowed out by time.

Dismounting, he then slowly led Chubb down a narrow, rocky passageway, cliffs rising on both sides. He turned left, then right, right, left, right and left again, purpose in each decision. Many times had he walked along this way, usually to find solace but this day, there was no joy to be found. He felt only sorrow and raw pain.

A final turn was made and, suddenly, the passage opened up into a breathtaking canyon and a view only found in dreams. Hundreds of pink, purple and white dogwood trees lined the canyon walls, their flowering branches seeming to float about their twisted trunks. Lush, spring grass pillowed the ground and dainty violets and dusty ferns took refuge next to the roots of each dogwood. Birds sang among the trees' fragrant blooms and the sweet scent was nearly suffocating. A stream of water spilled over the left side of the canyon wall, creating a thin, misty waterfall. A stream trickled from there into a large pool but no further, an underground crack sucking any excess water down into hollow caverns below.

Tears falling from his blue eyes, Hoss left his horse to graze on the green grass. While Chubb dug in with relish, the man walked forward, reaching up to cradle a dogwood branch, caressing the delicate, purple flowers. They twitched and bent in his gentle hand but sprang back into shape when released. He walked on, doing this with each tree until their health had been established.

When he had finished, he found that a few hours had gone by without his notice. The sun was full above him and the canyon was heating up. He removed his hat and dragged his forearm across his brow, wishing for a cool wind. The canyon was surrounded by steep, rocky cliffs and the sun beat down, creating an oven. He bent a knee next to the rippling pool and dipped a hand into the cool waters. Splashing his face, he raised his eyes, water dripping from his chin. He felt more empty than he could remember even in the past several months.

There should have been someone with him today but she had not kept her word.

Reaching into his inner vest pocket, he withdrew a telegram. It was wrinkled, creased and yellowed, having been opened many times over the last seven months. Through his tears, he read the words once more.

 **Mr. Hoss Cartwright  
The Ponderosa  
Virginia City, Nevada**

 **Emily deceased...** (stop) **...buried under an oak tree...** (stop) **...peaceful to the end...** (stop) **...thank you for giving her final joy...** (stop) **...take care, friend...** (stop)

 **John Pennington  
University of Pennsylvania  
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania  
** **  
**The words blurring before his eyes, Hoss could not hold back the dam and let tears fell freely. When the two lovers had parted, his love had promised she would be with him in this canyon but had lost her battle with sickness, one month after her departure. Seven months later, her death haunted him still. He had never quite come to terms with the loss, partly because he never got to say goodbye. She had promised that when he came here in the spring, she would be there with him. But now, she would never be able to see this beautiful place.

"Where are ya, Emily?" he called out forlornly, "Ya said you'd be here!"

There was no answer and only chirping birds provided any response.

For the next hour, he sat under a pink dogwood, amid the gold ferns and talked to Emily, hoping against hope that she could hear him. He couldn't bear to leave but eventually begin to grow weary, not to mention hungry. The sun climbed higher and higher, settling into noon position. At length, he rose, glancing around for his mount. Chubb was found standing in the sun, his hindleg cocked contentedly.

As Hoss swung aboard and gathered his reins, he looked about one more time and vowed that he never would return again. He felt validated and that a sufficient goodbye had been said. This canyon, once so special to him, was devoid of joy and contained nothing he wanted to relive. The dogwood trees would continue to grow undisturbed, the ferns would continue to sprinkle their gold dust upon the ground and the grass would continue to reach up towards the warm sunshine. Neither the canyon nor Emily would need him ever again.

Sadeened, tired and feeling acute hunger pains, he turned Chubb's head away and rode back into the passageway. He hated the thought of going home, to see the sympathy in his father and brothers' faces, but where else could he go? What other meaning did he have in his life but for his family and the Ponderosa? What place on God's green earth could soothe his aching soul like this ranch could?

I* * * * *I

As the sun beat down on jagged cliffs, sharp rocks and dusty gravel, a man sat shrouded in the cool shadows. A sorrel gelding stood next to him, also taking advantage of the small relief from the heat. Up the trail about a mile was a faux dead-end. Cliffs rose high on all sides but cut into the solid rock was a narrow corridor. Beyond was the special place that Hoss Cartwright occasionally visited but never shared with his family.

His rump becoming numb, Adam struggled to his feet, groaning as his sore body was tested. Placing hands on hips, he stretched out his tight back. He grimaced and peered up at the sun, wondering how much more private time his brother should be given. He reached his arms up high and groaned again. Muscles loosened and joints popped back into their natural positions, providing blessed relief. Dropping his arms, he resigned himself to waiting a bit longer.

After laying his bedroll out on the rocky ground, he eased himself back down in the shade. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back against the cool stone and stretched out his legs. A yawn caught his mouth in its grip but he fought the urge to drift off. Resting his head back, he tipped his hat down to shield his eyes. With the intent of sharpening his awareness, he let his thoughts began to drift over the last few months and what had led him to follow his younger brother that morning.

Eight months earlier, the Cartwrights had rode to drive away a small band of troublemakers from their land. Blake McCall, the leader, and his band of questionable characters were a common source of irritation and this had not been the first time they had been driven off Ponderosa land. McCall and his partner, John Pennington, possessed a hydraulic mining company which destroyed thousands of acres of virgin timber and precious watersheds in a single year, every year. The two men obviously had set their sights on the northeast corner of the ranch, having been found there before. Only the month prior, their rowdy crew had slaughtered at least one Ponderosa steer and had chopped down a stand of pines. They had been run off but returned a few weeks later.

However, this time had been different than those previous.

A covered wagon had been parked off to the side of the camp and a young woman, later known as Emily Pennington, had been in attendance. Adam remembered how impressed he had been by her wise speech pertaining to "the endless cycle of violent history". His father had also seemed quite moved, a fact which had been a bit surprising. Though Emily had been a tiny, frail thing, her soft voice had been unwavering and respectful, casting a peaceful spell over those who listened to her. The hostile environment seemed to instantly deflate, a significant fact which he had noted then.

Because of that first, favorable encounter, Adam had not been at all surprised when his equally gentle and sensitive brother had fallen in love. After McCall's activities had turned criminal, Pennington decided enough was enough and tried to get his sister to safety. Instead, the two were taken captive. However, with the Cartwrights' vital help, brother and sister had broken free and John had taken his frail sister to the Ponderosa. A doctor had been called out immediately but the diagnosis had not been good.

Remembering Hoss' desperate, grief-stricken accusations, Adam shuddered. He had stood by, helpless and saddened, as his brother's world had come crashing down. As the months had progressed after Emily's death, those same emotions still dodged the eldest Cartwright son. The last two weeks had been particularly difficult as spring had approached and Hoss had grown increasingly restless. The family hadn't known why but had suspected Emily to be the cause somehow. The question was how to help their son and brother?

Hours earlier that morning, Adam had awoken with a start, awakened by a strange noise. Something had instantly felt wrong. Bolting to his feet, he had stepped to the door and peered out into the dim hallway. He had seen Hoss' retreating back as his brother had worked his way down the stairs. The hour was very late and usually Hoss was a sound sleeper, dead to the world until the sun peaked over the mountains. Worry had compelled Adam to quickly pull on a workshirt and a pair of pants so he could follow. Concealed in the porch's dark shadows, he had watched as Hoss had saddled up Chubb. By the warm glow of the barn's lantern, Adam had seen the misery upon his brother's face.

Now, as he waited for his sibling to appear, Adam hoped that he had not made a mistake. He was beginning to doubt his decision to follow Hoss and wondered if he should go home before being discovered. However, hoofbeats came into hearing range then and that option was taken away. With a sigh, he rose and dusted off the seat of his britches.

Turning his back, he walked to Sport and tied the bedroll on the saddle's cantle. He busied himself with unbuckling the left saddlebag and withdrew a hoof pick. Stooping, he gently pinched Sport's right ankle, above the pastern. The gelding shifted his weight and trustingly lifted the hoof into Adam's hands. Adam pretended to be intent upon taking an imaginary rock out of the horse's frog. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Hoss appeared up the trail and rode ever closer.

"What are you doin' here, Adam?"

Straightening, Adam released Sport's hoof and forced a grin. "I was up here looking for strays but Sport here got a rock. I think I got it. Mind if I ride with you a ways?"

Hoss' eyes flicked along the ground and lingered on the boulder then raised to look warily at Adam. "Strays, huh? How long ya been waitin'?"

Adam followed his brother's gaze to the disturbed gravel next to the boulder and ducked his head, scratching his neck sheepishly. "I guess I...didn't want you to think you're alone and that somebody was close by. We don't have to talk but I'd like to tag along if I could."

"Come on then," Hoss replied flatly, looking off across the rocky terrain. "Best get ya back 'fore both of us die of heat stroke out here."

Nodding, Adam mounted up and steered Sport into line. The two men rode along for a long time in silence, a cool breeze softening the sun's harsh rays.

"Adam?"

"Yeah, Hoss..."

"I loved Emily, ya know, more than my life. I don't think I'll ever understand why she had to die but I guess there's a plan. But what possible idea could anybody have for an angel like her than living a full life? I would have given anything to have her with me forever and ever. I miss her...so...dang much."

His throat tightening, Adam glanced over and saw the pain radiating from Hoss' face. "I know, brother...I know."

"Ya know, I thought that I had made peace with this all those months ago but the pain's still so hurtful. It feels like she jest died. How did ya go on after Marie passed on?"

"Not well, Hoss. I wanted to die."

"But I remember you not even crying or anythin'. You were so strong and I'm not all that."

"Hoss, that isn't true. I grieved...god, did I grieve but I couldn't give up. You and Joe needed me. You both needed my attention and I didn't have a choice but to live for you, Joe and, of course, Pa. He was inconsolable for weeks and spent most of his time alone. The ranch needed tending, the hands wanted work orders and my brothers had lost the only mother they had ever known. I got through from day to day and no more. The sad truth is that any of us can die at any time. Best be grateful for those we love while we can share time with them. I decided to love Marie's memory, cherish it close but focus my attention on my father and brothers. I've never told anyone but you all got me through that painful event."

Hoss was quiet during Adam's reply but when he did speak, a light had returned to his eyes. "Love changes everythin', doesn't it, Adam?"

Adam could only smile, too much emotion packed into his throat for a response. He reached out and clamped a hand on Hoss' shoulder. An understanding was shared, enjoyed and released into the air with a collective sigh. Their hearts a bit lighter, the brothers pushed their horses into a hard gallop. Both parties were eager to return home but rode in silence, pondering what had been said. After all, their beloved father and little brother awaited them and why waste time?

 **Thank you all for reading and I would so appreciate your comments on this little story! :)**


End file.
